Happy Family Day!
It is important to have family meetings on a regular basis.
The top priority is for each family member to feel safe to share vulnerably about where they are at. Maybe Family Day Monday would be a good time to start this practice if it isn’t something you already do!
- Mom might be feeling very overwhelmed and under appreciated
- Dad might be feeling taken for granted and disrespected
- Children might be feeling like they don’t have a voice
Talk together about what the expectations are for home chores and then have family members volunteer (or be assigned) to what needs to be done. Hear from each member on what they would be willing to do. You might be surprised to learn that someone would much rather clean toilets than empty the dishwasher! There are ways to make this work for everybody.
Take it a step further then and set-up rewards for completion (family time, computer time, outdoor play etc.) On the flip side there needs to be discussion about consequences if chores aren’t done. Kids are great at coming up with consequences so be sure to get their input. Consequences don’t have to be the same for each child either. Find out what “hurts/works” for your child.
This is often the point where the whole thing breaks down. Parents come home and are tired, kids aren’t doing what they are expected to do, but the consequences aren’t enforced. Parents toss in the towel and get frustrated and say the “system” doesn’t work when really it is just a matter of using good parenting skills and sticking with it through the transition time until it becomes a habit for everyone. It is a matter of sticking to it with strict consistency so that children learn that this is serious business and they are part of the the family and are expected to contribute. I can’t tell you how many families where this is the main issue……parents not following through on consequences.
Learn to delegate jobs to family members. If you are going to have responsible family members in your home, you have to give them responsibilities.
Here is a practical tip you might like to try with your family!
We call it the weekly bin run. If your kitchen table is a constant clutter hot spot, keep a nice basket handy. Each night put anything that doesn’t belong on the table in the bin. At the end of the week, whichever family member has the most items in the bin has to put everything away. Other members of the family will tell them where. After a few weeks, the entire family will want to avoid the responsibility of the bin run and will see the upside to keeping the kitchen table clutter free.
Food for Thought
God approved of you before anybody else ever got a chance to disapprove.
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