Mother of the Bride

Some of you who know me personally, or have crossed paths with me over the past 9 months, know that I have been in wedding mode.  Our beautiful daughter Hayley accepted the marriage proposal of her fiancee Ben back on Labour Day weekend 2016.

A candid shot taken that evening after the proposal in Victoria Park.

 

And a beautiful shot from their Thanksgiving Engagement Photo Shoot.  Thanks to Jonathan Kuhn Photography.

My Mama Heart and Organizer Brain came together and it was a wonderful season in my life.

Hayley has great organizing skills of her own, so we got along well.  There was never a time when I had to get after her because I thought she was off schedule.  We divided the tasks – her & Ben with their responsibilities and Ben’s mom and I with ours.

During this season, it came to mind that the only time in my life that I ever raised my voice to my mom in an argument was shortly before I got married, way back in 1984.   Looking back at it I realize that the actual incident wasn’t what caused the argument, but rather the stress of all that was going on both for her and for me.  This is how I remember it unfolding……I had my maid of honour over on a Saturday afternoon to cut and wrap the little pieces of wedding cake that we would give out to our guests at the wedding reception.  Does anyone else recall that tradition?  Fruit cake was cut in small rectangular pieces, wrapped in saran, then in a small white doily and tied with a piece of curing ribbon.

Julie and I had finished the cut and wrap and left all the pieces on a tray on the kitchen counter.  We had cleaned up our mess and felt proud of what we had accomplished.  My mom and dad were out for the afternoon and when they came home mom went into the kitchen to find that tray of cake sitting on the counter with the hot afternoon sun beating in on it.   Well she lost it and came in search of me and wondered how I could possibly be so irresponsible as to leave that tray of cake sitting in the sun.  I was caught totally off guard, because it wasn’t in the sun when I proudly finished my task and left the kitchen.  Of course the sun moves across the sky as the afternoon hours pass, and well…..you can fill in the rest.  I recall my mom and I getting into a shouting match.  She accusing me of being ungrateful for all she was doing and me feeling like she was taking for granted all that I was doing……and on top of it I was living and working an hour away from home and how could I possibly do any more than what I was already doing, I wondered?!   As I said earlier, I really don’t think this argument was about the cake.  More likely it was jangled nerves and both of us reaching our limit.  This memory came back to me very clearly this past year, and I wanted to be on guard that the same thing didn’t happen to Hayley and I.  I’m certain that both of us were experiencing some of the same thoughts going through our heads that mom and I experienced 33 years ago, but we made it to wedding day with no shouting matches in the Schmidt house 🙂

One of the things that was a stand out memory to me as I was planning for the wedding were my thoughts about how to handle the wedding day and to make our tiny house work for our needs.  I have touched on this before, but you’ll recall that we rightsized 3 years ago into a house that works just splendidly for us 350 days a year, but there are a few times when I wish for the space to spread out a bit and have a few more options for how we navigate special events.

June 9 & 10, 2017 were a couple of those “special needs” days.  On the eve of the wedding we had not just the 3 of us, but Hayley’s 4 bridesmaids sleeping over.  On wedding day we had a total of 8 women (+ the hair and make-up helpers) getting ready here.

I decided early on that I needed to minimize the extra stuff that I had sitting around and make the space as functional as possible.  I called on Marie who works with us at Heart of the Matter and asked her to find someone to help her.  She called on her sister Joanna.  A few days before the wedding I had Marie come and do a walk through of the house with me.  I pointed out everything that I wanted her to tuck away or take to the garage.  I even included the places where I wanted her to set-up air beds for the Friday night guests.  Fast forward to Friday, June 9.  Hayley and I had  set a goal early on the wedding journey that we wanted to try and have everything done by the evening of June 8th so that we could enjoy the Friday and not feel stressed.  We met our goal!  Hayley and her bridesmaids had appointments for manicures and pedicures on Friday morning and I, along with my cousin Cheryl, headed out for a manicure appointment as well.  Cheryl was a lifesaver for me during the wedding season as she looked after getting my mom (who is now wheelchair bound) to and from our family bridal shower and the wedding ceremony.  Nana couldn’t have been part of the festivities without the help of Cheryl!  Thank you sweet cousin!

Cheryl is in the back on the left.  This photo was taken at our Schmidt Family & Friends Shower.

 

Wedding Day – Donna, Nana & Hayley

 

Anyway……back to Friday, June 9th.  We all had our appointments in the morning and met together for lunch.  By mid-afternoon it was time to head to New Hamburg for the wedding rehearsal.

Madi, Janelle, Donna, Hayley, Lauren & Helaina.  June 9th lunch at The Bauer Kitchen.

While we enjoyed our day, Marie and Joanna came into our house and worked their magic!  Everything was tucked away and the beds were made up for our evening guests.  When I arrived home that evening it felt great to know that I didn’t need to do anything other than get a good night’s sleep in preparation for the big day!

Saturday, June 10th dawned bright and sunny.  People began arriving and our little home worked well for us.  We had the hair styling station and the make-up station all set-up (thanks to Marie & Joanna).  We were all in the living/dining area enjoying the process together.

The icing on the cake during this time was that I didn’t need to watch over the kitchen.  My dear friend Sharon was on deck there and kept a lovely flow of breakfast and then later, lunch foods flowing for all of us to enjoy.

I wanted to be sure that people didn’t forget to eat and in turn we would have someone fainting during the wedding ceremony.  I recall that happening during a wedding that I was in years ago.  Sharon kept us all well looked after and cleaned everything up before she left to get ready herself about 1 p.m.

This was one of the yummy things she prepared for us!  Pieces of baguette with a spot for dip and veggies.

 

 

 

We had one little moment of excitement just as the last hair & make-up was complete.  It is still a bit of mystery as to how it happened, but someone must have leaned on the dials on the front of the stove and unbeknownst to us the oven got turned on.  Unfortunately,  our toaster oven is stored in the oven.  We started smelling something burning and by the time we clued in and I opened the oven door we were greeted with flames and spoke spilling out.   I promptly shut the oven door & turned off the dial.    Amanda (bless her heart) went into safety mode and got doors & windows open and started fanning the smoke that had filled the kitchen.  The whole thing could have been much worse and the only change in plans was the bridesmaids (in their cute matching robes) moved out to the deck for their champagne toast before getting into their dresses.

During the time we were all off to the wedding ‘operation organize’ kicked into gear again.  Marie & Joanna came back to the house, pulled everything out of hiding and in from the garage.  They once again made up the air bed for guests later that evening.   It is hard to explain how I felt (but I’m sure some of you will get it) when I came home after the emotional high of the wedding and found everything in order.  For some it wouldn’t matter, but this organizer brain of mine was feeling very blessed and appreciative of my wonderful sister team of Marie & Joanna!

While fun and preparations were going on at our house, I had my business partner and friend extraordinaire on duty at the church.  Rhonda’s assignment was to meet the florist and be sure that bouquets, boutonnières etc. got where they needed to be.  I learned after the fact that Rhonda had a bit of stress as the flowers were 45 minutes late in arriving.  She even confessed that she used her ‘teacher voice’ as she called to get it all straightened out.  We were oblivious to it all, but thanks Rhonda for handling it all on our behalf!

One of the sweetest aspects of the lead-up to the wedding was a surprise that Ben planned for Hayley.  He knew how hard it had been for Hayley to leave our home in New Hamburg 3 years ago after having lived there all of her life.  When I say all of her life, I mean all of her life!   Hayley was born at home so, understandably, had a very strong attraction to that house and found the transition to our new home very emotional.

I dug into the photo archives and look what I found.  Baby Hayley and Mommy on the front lawn of 125 Jacob Street when Hayley was just hours old!

Ben contacted Mike & Tammy, the new owners of 125 Jacob St.,  and asked if they would be willing to let us come by on wedding day and take some photos on the front porch.  They willingly agreed, and Ben shared the happy news with Hayley.

On wedding day the kind couple left a bottle of champagne and a note for Hayley and Ben on the porch.  We had some family photos taken, but my favourite was this touching moment the photographer captured with Hayley and Ben.

June 10, 2017 was a beautiful day of celebrating love and family.  The sun shone down on us all and God’s presence was felt as we celebrated Hayley & Ben’s love and their new life together as a married couple!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for next week when I chat a little further about the meeting of Mama’s heart and her organizer brain!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

Sometimes, said Pooh, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.